It's all his fault
by clockkid43
Summary: Two best friends find themselves stuck in the body of Shikamaru Naru and they plan on screwing every thing up in the universe. Watch out narutoverse here comes the power of profanity, sarcasm, and sex. Self insert and ocs


**Hi this is clockid43 coming at you guys live with a new story with help from a friend.**

 **I really hope you enjoy it now lights, camera, fan fiction.**

 **Disclaimer:I don't own Naruto or any other anime I reference in this story.**

 _Thoughts – italic_

 _Spirit/demon- Italic underlined_

"…..

David Kingston was ordinary guy, he enjoyed anime, lived with best friend Jack, and was trying to earn a living as game designer. His friend Jack on the other hand was as one would call it a free that he didn't try to get a job, but he always ends up losing It for some unexplainable reason or another. His love for anime was one of the few things he and David shared. As of now the to were coming from a huge party hosted by some friends. Jack was drunk of of his ass while David was just a little buzzed.

It was almost midnight and the two had to walk home since neither of them owned a car. Jack was piggy back riding on David's back murmuring incoherent sentences as he was carried.

"Dancing cinnamon bun give me the key to Paris" David sighed at his friend's antics. " This is why I don't drink that much" he muttered to himself. Unlucky for him Jack heard him and suddenly got a wave full of energy. He jumped off of David's back and gave him a devilish smile.

"Don't be a prude Davey, alcohol does wonders for the body if you drink it right" to further his point Jack flexed his muscles. David just started walking across the street knowing his friend would follow him.

"Dave wait up you can't leave a drunk guy hanging" David stopped in the middle of the road waiting for his friend to catch up. The street was empty so he patiently waited for his friend to walk towards him staggering along the way.

"I see the wonders of alcohol are doing you justice" he remarked watching his friend staggering on the path."Fuck you" Jack managed to get out before finally catching up to David.

"I would but I have standards". Jack looked like he wanted to say a comeback and opened his mouth but was cut off by a horn. The last thing David remembered was his name being yelled before everything went black.

…(line break)…

David woke up in a dark and empty room. Only one lightbulb was in the room on the ceiling giving it a creepy horror look to the room as he looked to see a collar around his neck with kanji written on it. ' _This Is obviously a prank, only person who I know likes bondage is Jack let's see where is the door when I get out of here I am kicking Jacks ass'_ David tried feeling around but it was like the walls were trying to avoid his hands. Every time he tried to touch the walls they would move back. There was no door either just wooden wall all around her

"Jack if this is some sort of prank I swear to god I will kill you" no response. " This isn't funny I am not dealing with your bondage bullshit right now let me out now" he said pointing at the collar still no response. "Ok starting to think that this isn't a prank"

"Am I dead, Am I a wandering spirit, is this limbo" David starting hyperventilating. " why why why! I don't won't to be a spirit with no fucking purpose, but to fuck around with people, I don't even get to see which religion was right or become one with the universe or something, what the actual fuck, at least gimme something to do for eternity besides this shit" David yelled out to the air hoping anyone could hear him vent his frustration. "Calm down David this is probably just a weird dream and you are going to wake up any moment" he told himself not believing it but sat down anyway because what more could he lose "Please someone get me out of here"

"I don't won't to be alone again"

…(line break)….

Jack Astoc liked to believe he was chosen for something bigger then himself. That special person you see in movies you know. So when he sees a giant truck coming at him and his best friend his first thoughts were 'not now I haven't changed the world yet' and after he yelled his best friend's name before he blacked out.

When he woke up he instantly hit with bright lights and a cold room. 'Where am I, where is David' Strong hands lifted him up in the air and he saw a man with a pineapple shaped hairs smiling proudly at me.

"Look at him yoshino isn't he adorable I want to love and cherish him so much" then Jack was held close to pineapple head's face. They were nose to nose until pineapple head started crying. Not just regular crying no anime tears were streaming down his face. I started to laugh but all that came out was gurgling and spit.

"Never thought I would see stone cold Shikaku Nara cry a river of tears" Jack turned to see a pretty lady giggling at the newly named Shikaku. 'Shikaku and yoshino that sounds so familiar for some reason'

"What is his name Shikaku since you are so adamant about cuddling him, if anybody should be doing that it should be me" Yoshino asks Shikaku from the medical bed. She was very tired but would not miss her baby's first moments just for some sleep she could get later.

"Shikamaru, his name is Shikamaru Nara the new heir to the Nara clan" Shikaku says between sobs. ' _Wait a minute Shikamaru Nara, no no no no there is no possible way that I am in the Naruto universe no possible way in hell favorite character be damned I don't want to deal with useless fangirl sakura and emo prick sasuke for 12 years. Oh my god did I just get birthed oh god I wanna throw up'._

Jack tried to talk or use any way of communication but all of his senses are completely messed up so all that he could do was scream or cry. Jack chosen he later thinking about where his friend is and is he in the same predicament he's in.

"Yoshino he's crying, did I break him,I am so sorry daddy did not mean to son please don't cry" Shikaku panicked at seeing the crying child while Yoshino laughed at her husbands misfortune. "Dear all babies cry it's normal, he is not dying he Is probably cold being naked in this room.

After that Shikaku rushed to wrap his baby in a blanket. Jack stopped crying feeling sleepy and shut his eyes entering Morpheus's realm for the first of many times.

Now I could rub it in that smug Yamanaka's face that my child was born first" a Shikaku stated with literal fire in his sweat dropped at the proclamation before a black haired man entered the room and asked for Shikaku to help with the new patrol schedule.

"Fine"he growled at the man before turning back to us "my darling little Shikamaru I will be back to care and nurture you with all of my love and attention also Yoshino I love you too" kissing Yoshino as he departed the room. no and the sleeping Shikamaru was left in the room.

She too was filling the effects of labor and barely holding her tiredness at that everyone was gone she finally laid her head on the pillow and went to sleep next to her child.

"Goodnight Shikamaru, my little shadow"

….(end scene)…..

 **Like it hate it leave your reviews down below hope you guys have a great day and I will see you later piece. Also if you guys came from my other story digital warrior I don't know if I will continue it or not so for now don't look forward to updates regularly.**

 **Clockid43 :)(:**


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